Against the Grain

I’ve never been normal in this life.
I’ve been creating my own light.
In this life, I’ve felt day and night.
I’ve run so far to feel alright.
It had never been easy to be
in a place that can’t be seen.
No matter what, I swam upstream;
I loved to play on the other team.
I’ve always been told to go left
but going left never felt right.
When told to talk, I held my breath.
When told to quit, I knew to fight.
I’ve always gone against the grain.
I’ve learned to endure life’s pain.
I’ve walked miles in my own lane.
I’ve walked alone in my own brain.
The path I chose has one red rose.
The rose can only be picked by me.
I’ve felt some highs to find my lows
I swam upstream. I fought the breeze.
I’ve stayed when I was told to leave.
I’ve gone against the grain to be free.

Smile Through the Pain

How do you feel when you stop and think?
Do you have time to notice the pain?
Are you able to float after you sink?
What do you do to keep yourself sane?

The day grows long and so does this journey.
I do not know which direction I am going.
I acknowledge my feelings first in the morning
so I can control the emotions I am showing.

The day goes on, but my feelings stay;
It's impossible to keep them away.
Darkness creeps in the sunniest days
and can silence any words I say.

I will smile, but it may take awhile.
I have to find the source of this pain.
Give me an inch so I can take a mile
cuz' along the way, so much can change.