Umbrellas

I could have swore I set

my alarm. I only have 40

minutes to make it to work.

It’s not like I have the biggest

meeting of my life. Damn.

Where is my umbrella?

I should have known that

it was going to rain.

I can’t get my suit wet.

No big deal. My boss will

understand… on second thought,

he won’t. He is devoid of all

human emotion. He must be

a robot. Numbers. Profit.

Production. I swear those

are the only words he knows.

How can I not worry?

Hurry. Hurry. Hurry.

Did I really just spill coffee

on my white dress shirt?

It’s just a stain.

Maybe it will wash off

in the rain. Just my luck.

Now what? I don’t have time

to change. I don’t have time

to think. I don’t have time

for anything. Screw it. I just

need to get in this damn car

and drive like hell.

Are you serious?

The battery is dead,

and might as well be, too.

No. I have to believe it will

be okay. Great. Now, there’s

no way I’m not late. Good

thing my wife bought me

a 10-speed bike last year.

You got to be kidding me…

is that a flat tire?

Thank God there’s a bus stop

down the block. Let’s put these

fancy shoes to the test.

WAIT FOR ME! This can’t be.

Why the hell did the bus driver

leave? I was only a minute

late. There’s no chance he didn’t

see me. Well… I still have

10 minutes to make it

on time. It’s a good thing I ran

an 8-minute mile in high school.

Oh no… Nancy looks pissed.

“Where have you been?

They are waiting for you

to start-“

“Nancy, I’m only a minute late.

Just buzz me in the damn door.”

I don’t like the way David

is looking at me right now.

“David..I’m so sorry I’m late.

I went through hell to

make it here. I swear”

“John… do you think I care?

This was the biggest meeting

of the year. They just left

the call. Now, your day is

going to get a lot worse.

Grab your things and get

the hell out. You’re fired!”

I knew he was a robot… Back

into the rain. That went well

Surely, my wife will understand.

“Honey! you are home early,

and why are you all wet?

Did you get the promotion?”

Honesty is the best policy.

Right? “Where do I begin?

I didn’t set my alarm. I forgot

my umbrella. I stained my shirt.

The car would not start. My bike

has a flat. I missed the bus,

and I was late to the meeting.

I had to walk home in

the pouring rain.

That is why I am all wet.

Any other questions?”

“Yes. Just one more. Why do you

have a box full of office supplies?”

“Oh yeah, my work gave me

a going away present. I lost my job”

“John. What the hell did I tell you?

Now, you lost your wife, too.

Grab your things and get

the hell out!”

Back into the rain. What a relief.

This time, I won’t forget

my umbrella when I leave.